revelation

Today had the potential to be a really bad day. The day started with the news that my legal assistant / document coordinator is out with a cold. Of course it's bad enough not having her for one day, but I'm not sure how long she's going to be out, and these next three days are going to be crucial trial prep days, where we're going to have to pour over the documents and make sure we know everything inside and out.

Fortunately, I had a nice conversation with a mentor of mine, about how to approach this trial. Without getting into all of the details, it helped me set aside my rage and focus on what's important. (Don't get me wrong, the rage is still there ... I still hate these guys with a passion. I'm just repressing it temporarily for the greater good.) The greater good, of course, requires me to be cool, calm and collected, and to go into this trial with a clear mind.

I also started to let go of the weight I've been carrying around for the past few weeks. The pressure of having my work affect someone's life in such a dramatic way was really getting to me. Today I realized that I don't need to take all that on. The fact is that I can control only one thing - my performance. I've busted my ass for the past few months, trying to prepare to win this case. Now I just have to go in there and do my best. If that's good enough, great. If it's not, there's really nothing I can do to change that. History has shown that when I put myself in a position to win, I usually do. Hopefully this will be another one of those times.

This all sounds way too dramatic, by the way. I hate taking myself, or anything I do, so seriously. Stupid real trial ... taking the mock out of my life!