I'm scared out of my mind right now. It feels like I have this ridiculous weight on me ... I can't sleep at nights, and I'm restless and exhausted all day. I went to sleep at 7 or 8 tonight, and I woke up at 10:30. Now it's 2, and I have a feeling I'm going to be up all night again.
I can't shake the feeling that if I mess up, I'm really screwing my clients. They're both really nice guys, and they didn't do anything wrong ... they're just being sued cause the other guys have a ton of money and think they can wear us out. One of them is pretty loaded, so I won't lose that much sleep over him, but the other one is much more of a regular guy. He has 2 kids - one in college and the other getting ready to go. He was telling me the other day that if we lose this case, he's not sure if his son will be able to stay in college, or his daughter will be able to start. This is crazy, dammit! I DON'T NEED THIS PRESSURE!!!
Bring back mock trial, where at the end of the day, no matter what you do, you say: "great, I learned something and I'm better for it." But you don't have anyone's life in your hands.
WHAT THE HELL WERE THESE GUYS THINKING, HIRING ME ANYWAY??? The other side is a huge hedge fund. They've managed BILLIONS over the past few years. They have pretty much an unlimited litigation budget, and they've hired this fancy Connecticut firm. The first time I saw their lawyer, I remember thinking: 'Damn, that's an expensive-looking lawyer!' Plus he's got a bunch of assistants and associates working for him. How the hell am I supposed to keep up with that???
The closer we get to the trial date, the more nervous I get. I don't feel nearly prepared enough (although I never really feel prepared enough for a trial, since there's always something more that I can do) and I'm running out of time. What the hell was I thinking getting back into private practice??? FML!
No comments:
Post a Comment